The deep blue depths are stirring,
Accumulating strength and gathering.
In this gloriously frustrating,
Rule-laden yet opportunistic
Hell-hole Heaven we call Earth.
Damn, I’ve built it – inside and out,
With a strength non-physical –
Mentally I’m draining
Stress, insecurities, fears,
They’re all complaining.
Saying, ‘I can’t take care of them’.
‘I don’t give voice to them’,
Except they’re calling, knocking,
Tearing down the walls I use for blocking.
It’s them haters from within.
Snarling, kicking, screaming, ‘Let me out’!
The release pours, dripping.
From heavy lidded soul windows,
With silent anguish.
Pain comes gnawing at bones.
My flesh is withering,
I’m being pulled down.
A reflection noted in any visitors witnessing
This dissent I’ve created,
Conceived and given birth.
This is negativity breeding.
Damp, dark, derisions rise like
They’re crashing, growing, dropping.
My thoughts intensifying,
I’m breathing through, clearing
But then they rise,
‘I surrender, take me,
To any cushioned corner of defeat.
Come your blackened steed without master
Turning paler as you hit down harder.
Each time it’s quicker.
And you gallop away,
Leaving me to slumber.
That’s when it fades,
Subsides from its cauldron’s call.
The fire’s been burnt sodden.
Greyed embers remain,
Yet from here we can begin,
Tiny shoots of green, a heart-warming scene.
Carefully watered, tendered to
And in time,
I’ll be back.